Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
