i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
