4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
