is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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