I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
only if we run a train.
done.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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