Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
my poor anus
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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