The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
