You made me cry and you don't even care
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
