i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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