I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize