Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
