Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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