so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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