When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
