Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
