U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
