3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize