I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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