Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
