Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
