I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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