he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
third nipple confirmed
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
