Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
