I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize