I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
