i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
