I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
the liver wants what the liver wants
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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