you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
