Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
