I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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