I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
