At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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