Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
