when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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