Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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