Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
