Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
