Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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