if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
