My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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