i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
