at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
