I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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