Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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