I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize