Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
