wat bout pragnant strippers??
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
