I cockslap morals
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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