Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
