they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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