so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
