So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
