he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize