Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He better not be in your backpack
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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