guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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