Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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