She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
