It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
