Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
